French or Foe?

i'm reading this book which was written in 1994 about how to process the culture shock foreigners experience in France. it's all about the small things. the social codes that have been developed and carried through generations and centuries are part of the way of life. this book is all about trying to assimilate, to move from being a "them" to being an "us". here are the things they don't teach you in any french class, most probably because they are french and it happens like breathing or perhaps they are american but never fully caught on while they lived in france. a watch-and-learn approach for a year abroad could hardly teach me all these things that this woman has observed, experienced, and accomplished in her 25+ years living in the country. so for me, this tells me what to look for. also, it prepares me with how to react to the quirky/frustrating stuff -- especially with #1. you could easily follow each of these items with "this isn't america, honey."

1. don't smile all the time, nor at strangers. when you do smile, it ought to mean something, so by not always smiling it's more meaningful.

2. the personal space bubble extends to about where your skin ends.

3. always say hellogoodbye and monsieur/madame.

4. magic words: excusez-moi de vous déranger (mais j'ai un problème).

know (or figure out) your status in relation to those around you so you know how to act toward them.

5. leave doors closed in the house and office. if the prof's door is closed, knock and walk in. it's more economical.

6. time isn't money. no time is wasted or spent.

7. know when being on time is important. the rest of the time, use your discretion. (and don't get your hopes up because your new french friend may not show up until 20 or 30 minutes after your scheduled coffee date, and they probably won't make any excuses.)

8. get to know your local vendors (boulangères and the likes). tell them your life story. use the same checker at the supermarket and get to know them. if you can help it, go there every day or every week. you'll become known as "that lovely american girl that likes oranges".

9. PPO: persistent personal operation. when you want or need something, throw on the flattery and give them your sob story. impress them with how badly you just need whatever it is, whether it's their help or a deal on that sweater. in short, grovel. earnestly.

10. it's never YOUR fault. blame the couch for being beige and not wine red like what you just spilled on it. if you mustmustmust admit it, it's an erreur (implying ignorance/innocence) not a faute, which is a real scandal. (this one still boggles my mind... it seems arrogant, but they probably don't think anything of it.)

11. lying is okay. you will get duped on occasion. but lying doesn't mean you sacrifice your personal integrity. try it out sometime, you may just get what you want.

12. non = persuade me. impossible = i don't feel like it. apply PPO as needed.

this is only halfway through the book, so i can't imagine what comes next! man, what did i get myself into?! it will be even more fun now that i will be trying to play them at their own games :P

practice practice practice

this week, i have been playing my favorite MMO and i had a sudden idea to play it in french! they have two servers for french speakers. the whole game, and a greater portion of the people playing on the servers, is all french. most of the players are quebécois, though, so their accent comes through pretty heavily. fortunately wikipedia has something to say about the phonology, which helps me understand and not pick up those pronunciation habits. the most prominent one among the players (now my friends ^^) is the [ε] ➝ [a] shift. they say "a" for elle and "y" or "i" for both y and il. je vais [ve] is written "jva" and probably pronounced that way too.

while this is a linguistic playground for me, it's also some great practice! i've been introduced to one idiomatic metaphor that i've not bothered to look up, but it's cute: souris, la vie est un fromage. yes, i agree, life is a cheese.

prend-le, p'tite souris!

i've been challenged to actually communicate, but reading the conversations in french also helps me know how to articulate what i want to say. my syntax parsing/production system is working so well that it affects my syntax when speaking english. this is good, mind you. franglais is just one step from français!

i have the impression that my fellow players like me and think i'm funny. thank God they know i'm american ("englaise" haha) and forgive me for my faux pas -- sometimes. according to them i'm "full smath" whatever that means; all i know is i convince some people at first that i'm quebécoise and surprise them by saying i'm americaine. i can't seem to find a quebécois internet speak dictionnaire, though, so many things will be unfotunately left to the devices of my imagination.

alors, i'm getting my hairs did today, maybe kinda short, like 3 in past my chin. all the same, fewer layers for a more dramatic, kicker type look.

ciao!

in which i have received my visa!

talk about a fast and efficient government agency... it took 4 days to process and issue my visa and 1 day to get to me. i'm impressed! do we have that kind of service anywhere in the states? it was harder to get my friggin driver's license! it'sactually quite cool looking... it's got those blue and red threads and microprint like you see on money. and my updated picture... my passportpicture is me as an awkward chubby teenager; this one makes me look like a young woman :)

speaking of being a young woman, i went on a little shopping adventure which was originally supposed to just burn time. however, i found some shoes and fell in love with them and then bought them. leather, good construction, low heel, soft insole, and absolutely adorable!

so now i have them and i lovelovelove them. needless to say, they complete the variety of shoes i need: black, brown, comfy, and sandals. the comfy is usually TOMS, which are my absolute favorite, but tend to wear out a bit quickly (especially with keeping color. boo.). i need to get a black or navy pair. ooh navy :)

another thing i need to get done is my hair. i'm thinking not just a cut, but a different style. any ideas, people? don't worry, i'm not going justin bieber short or anything.

summer!

well i am home with the family! that last week at school was all over the place between finals, packing, and spending time with my sweetie.

i hardly remember studying or anything like that. i know i did well on my finals, but i definitely felt best about mmw, with which i am finally done! my grades were posted today! well, three of them. two As and a B in morphology. i'm quite bummed i didn't even get a B+. maybe i bombed the final or something. at any rate, my A+ in psycholinguistics should keep my major GPA creeping toward that 3.75! i'm not expecting much more than a B in french because i didn't get As all quarter. plus the grammar really takes away from all your possible points.

mom came down to pick me up after i had packed everything. we loaded at least half my stuff into the car tetris style on friday night last week, i guess it was. that way, we had a parking spot and didn't haeve to worry about move-out/commencement traffic. we finished up in the morning, but so much had been left behind by my roommates who had to take off so quickly that i had to take care of a ton of it. oh well.

we spent the morning with my aunt at the cove and then met cuong for tea so he and i could go spend some time together before i took off. we went to balboa park and the science center there. oh, and the rose gardens, which were in full bloom and smelled wonderful! the weather had just cleared up; how nice! after those few hours, we drove up to where my mom, aunt, and i would be staying so that we could all have dinner together. we ate at the fancy restaurant there and it was so glorious! cuong and i split venison chops, and for desert i chose the creme brulée. we were so stuffed even that we had to go for a walk down to the shore. the waves were so soothing. saying goodbye was hard. i definitely cried a lot of tears. we hugged and hugged and hugged. all i know is that all the times we've spent together were just wonderful, and that's what i'm going to hold onto :) i know that he's trying to be optimistic and supportive despite wanting this year to just pass by so we can see each other again. i'm happy he has the gall to stand behind my dream.

on the way up, we had planned to stop by the french consulate in san francisco and apply for my visa. so my dad had helped my mom find us a hotel for the night before, and it was a block from the consulate. perfect! we spent some time touring san francisco and pier 39. the next morning, we dined at a beautiful french cafe and then headed to my appointment. the people before me took quite a while, but when i got to the window, he asked all the questions, wrote a few things down, and went through my papers. i was over-prepared, but i had to be for fear of having to come back or something ridiculous like that. they will be sending my passport back to me by the end of the week, they said. once i get my visa, i will be really excited!

i've been thinking about the time i'm spending at home before i take on the world. i have about 8 weeks till i leave. there are a few things to take care of: you know, the dentist and optometrist and stuff like that. i already got my eyes checked and have a followup next week :) i won't be getting new glasses till next month i don't think, but that's okay with me. and keeping things packed for when i get back is weird to say the least. it's hard to know what i will need when, but i'll just roll with it. and oh man, i have so much junk here too... i'm going to throw away all these trinkets from middle school. that was 6 years ago now! hopefully that will make preparing to leave that much better and easier.

on a completely unrelated note, 31 days till my birthday! i'm going to be 20. weird. i feel 25 sometimes. the rest of the time it's like i'm a 12-year-old.

cleaning. grades. papers. love.

i am currently sleep-deprived, which apparently makes for a fair amount of creativity. i cleaned and sorted and cleaned out quite a lot of my belongings today, in preparation for packing to move back home next week. so far i have one duffel suitcase full of workout and winter clothes (except for my two favorite scarves). i also have a gianormous bag full of paper due for recycling -- mostly notes and petty little assignments that i've kept these last two years for whatever reason. i've reduced my collection to papers, exams, and notes i can still decipher. what does this have to do with going to france? well, i've realized how much stuff i own that is just sheer junk (another man's treasure?), and i'm tired of having it around. while the process might take a good portion of the summer, it is definitely rejuvenating, giving me a fresh start! on to more pertinent issues.

next week is finals, which will essentially make my college career! because next year's classes in France will be mostly GE's and electives, my major GPA will probably not see much effect... which means if i bump it from a 3.72 to a 3.75+, i will qualify for the senior honors program! this would be a big deal for me because a) i love the faculty here, and b) grad school preparation/experience. i'm just so glad that the classes i'll take in france don't have to apply to my major, as they can apply to other requirements i have yet to fulfill. however, if there are french linguistics courses that interest the hell out of me, then i may just have to take them :)

as for the relationship side of things, le boyfriend has been quite busy and therefore tired the last couple days, which is a bit inconvenient. however, he is human and has his life going for him right now, so i understand why he is so. i'm seriously looking forward to this weekend. yesterday it dawned on me (in the middle of trying to compose my last ever mmw paper) that this will be our last weekend together for over a year unless he comes to phillip and rachel's wedding. i am lobbying for the latter option. nevertheless, this will be the last real chunk quality time we have (except for when i have to study for my french final). while this makes me want to cry and be miserable, i am determined to not let that destroy the time we will have. i'll do the sad and miserable after i've gone home, when it won't interfere with our spending of time together. boy do i love him. it's remarkable how love grows with time. it's like it invents its own capacity to expand beyond our expectations. i would be cliché and say that i love him more every day, but i think what's really going on is that i learn more about the love i have for him, and as i learn more of him, the love expands along with that and gives me more to discover. what an adventure!

wherein reality becomes concrete

i've booked my flight to lyon and back to sacramento for the weekend of my brother's wedding in october! it took A LOT of guts to actually allow myself to make that purchase. the price dropped $300 in front of my eyes, so i took that as a sign. there were also only 9 seats left on that set of flights. i still have to book the one-way flight in october (going back after the wedding), but i will take care of that in the coming weeks!

tomorrow is my health clearance appointment. god willing it will not run long and cut into class time (i did allow plenty of time for it, too).

it's all so real. i could just cry in all my joy. the fear is starting to melt a little, but of course all my excitement is kicking it out.

and that is all.

note to self:

do not go to france with longlonglong strawberry blond hair; a crazy man might just cut it off.

today i met with my french professor to talk about my composition and other class-related issues, as well as my plans for lyon. he got really excited for me. yay! however, he also offered quite a lot of useful advice -- like the kind you get from years of retrospect. one of the biggest things is that the language download process is something you have to embrace. also, it's like a being a baby where your life is like PUZZLING INFORMATION so you sleep a lot just to cope with so much input, yet you eventually figure it out. he did mention the depression that sets in after coming back because you're no longer surrounded by a whole bunch of new words to learn every day. however, he assured me that after spending that long there, the french will have stuck and it will come back to me just like a song on the piano does.

he also commended me on my pronunciation and grammar awareness (as in i still make mistakes, but i know enough to actually fix them). he said this would be useful because it will all start to click once i'm immersed. we talked about how my ancestors are from near calais, and how i should visit there (this vein of the conversation was brought on by his noticing i wear a fleur de lis necklace). i may do just that!

all in all, this helpful information makes me so excited to go. i'm so glad others are excited for me, even those who don't know me too well!